


the only heaven i'll be sent to

by stormborn



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Aegon and Rhaenys Targaryen Live, Alternate Universe - Rhaegar Won, F/M, Infidelity, Sansa is married to Aegon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-07 04:27:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19077484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stormborn/pseuds/stormborn
Summary: Jon finds himself in the inconvenient position of being utterly in love with his brother's wife and realizes that having part of her is better than having none of her at all.





	the only heaven i'll be sent to

**Author's Note:**

> kay so I haven't written fic in over 10 years but I love this pairing so much I thought I'd finally try my hand at contributing something to this amazing fanbase. 
> 
> this is completely unbeta'd and not very good but the idea of Jon and Sansa carrying on a rather angsty affair while she was married to Aegon came to me and this came pouring out. 
> 
> \----------------------------------------------------
> 
> This is set in a modern version of Westeros. I may continue this story via a string non-sequential vignettes. In which more characters like Aegon will be better fleshed out.
> 
> Feedback is always welcomed. Since this is my first dip back into the fanfic pool after a long sabbatical, please be kind lol.
> 
> \------------------------------------------------------

Jon would be lying if he said that he didn’t like the times when she stayed over the best. 

Oh, he loves the sex of course and on a dark twisted level he loves this act of rebellion they’re both engaging in. A quiet but righteous rebellion against his brother, against his father and against the entire damn lot of the family, the court and the kingdom. 

One in which no one dies, no hostages are taken and no innocent blood is spilled. It’s a private revolution that takes place between them every time he puts his mouth on her, where she’s wet and warm and makes her shudder, clench and call out for the gods. Gods he is only ever sure exist when he’s with her. 

From the time this…thing between them… had started till now, Jon has lived in secret fear that one day he’ll stop getting the “meet me at the place..” texts from her. 

If he’s being honest, with how the first time started, he was sure he had dreamt the entire thing. He hazily recalls there being champagne – a lot of champagne- an empty hotel room, more than a few tears from Sansa over Egg’s latest affair and a soft kiss pressed to his lips accompanied by a heady request of “I need this. I need you. I need to feel...I just need to feel”. 

And before Jon knew it he had his brother’s wife pinned up against a wall while he thrust into her keeping pace with the wild beating of his heart. An act that might have made him the exact same as his brother and his father. Targaryen men have a knack for setting their sights on beautiful things that do not belong to them. 

But what makes Jon different from them is that he realizes that Sansa is not a “thing”. She is a living, breathing feeling woman who deserves to have as much passion bestowed upon her as possible. 

She deserves better than to have to suffer the humiliation of Egg’s very poorly kept secret affairs with an elegant chin lifted and a ramrod straight back. She deserves…well she deserves a lot more than he is able to give her. But what he is capable of giving her, he makes sure he gives with gusto. 

 

“I didn’t know you played for a water polo team when you were at Castle Black College.” Sansa’s voice breaking through his thoughts. 

“Where’d you hear that from?” Jon asked her, running his fingers down the length of her arm. He was addicted to touching her. Never sated, always wanting. 

“Sam…he told me the last time he came to pick me up, said you both were quite the accomplished athletes.” 

“He’s meant to drive you from the palace to here and back without bringing any unwanted attention to you. Not regale you with tales of my misspent youth. ….And I only joined the water polo team to keep him from drowning.”

Sansa made a noise that was something akin to a snort but far too delicate to be considered as such before continuing. 

“I just found it interesting that’s all. I couldn’t imagine you in the water flopping around spiking the ball and wading through the water.” 

Jon regarded her for a moment before replying, “You have no idea how water polo is played, do you?” 

“Well I know you’ve got to be able to know how to swim and you’ve got to hold your breath for a long time I’m assuming…” Sansa answered. 

“And I think you know quite well just how long I can hold my breath for.” he quipped.  
Sansa gave a low throaty laugh in response, tossing her long hair over her shoulder before turning to look at him from beneath her sooty lashes. 

She made quite the sight tangled up in the dark sheets of his bed. Against the dark emerald green fabric was all pale smooth alabaster skin and flaming red hair that had gotten terribly –no- wonderfully mussed during their bouts of love making that afternoon. 

The cold shower he had taken did nothing to temper the stirrings of arousal Jon was beginning to feel again. After already having her three times not an hour ago; he was ready to take her again, The Seven help him. 

For a while they lay in companionable silence before Sansa looks at her watch and sighs, “I have to head back to the palace soon. My long weekend getaway at “Margaery’s” is soon coming to an end.”

It had become a common practice for Sansa to lie to her household at the palace about her whereabouts every couple weeks. So she and Jon could have this time together. It was dangerous, it was reckless and on some level they both knew this would all end in the entire realm finding out. But they persisted anyways. 

This week she had been “spending time” with Lady Margaery of House Tyrell who lived out in the countryside at Highgarden Manor. 

Margaery had been one of the few people who knew about the affair. She was Sansa’s closest friend and confidant and though Jon had his trepidation about letting her in on the secret, she had proven herself trustworthy as she has covered for them both numerous times. 

During the times when they got a little too caught up in the fantasy of one another. The times when he made her breakfast in bed and she’d teased him about his morose taste in music and he’d listen with rapt attention and pretend to understand the words and references she used when she talked excitedly about the fashion line she wanted to start before she had married into this family. His family. 

Before she had been swept off her feet by Aegon and his easy charm and beautiful face and captivating personality. Jon had always envied Egg’s way with people. He could make anyone fall in love with him with just an endearing smile and an empty compliment that somehow always sounded sincere. 

And as much as Jon pretended like he didn’t care about Egg finding out he knew Sansa did. He knew Sansa cared about everyone finding out. It always seemed to be in the back part of her mind. 

Which is why he wasn’t surprised when she suddenly proclaimed out of nowhere, “I can practically read the headlines now: “Jon Snow the Estranged Half Brother Of Our Beloved Prince Aegon Has Been Caught Bedding His Whore Of A Wife; The “Lady” Sansa Stark. The Marriage Is Over And Now He’s Free To Marry Princess Arianne Martell Like We All Wanted Him To In The First Place. Hooray.” 

“That’s one hell of a headline. They might need print that on a 10 by 10 sheet.” 

“You know what I mean. If this gets out, I’ll be branded the Whore of the Seven Kingdoms. Everyone knows about Egg’s affairs and everyone turns a blind eye but if I were to do the same? I’d be ruined.”

“Especially considering who you’ve chosen to do it with. All puns intended.” Jon teased. 

He had meant it as a light jape to ease the tension and to distract her from her spiraling but when Sansa gives a sudden cry of frustration before flopping onto her stomach and burying her face in the pillow; he fears he might have gone too far. 

He still feels like he needs to be careful around her. Despite all they’ve shared these past few months there is still a slight uneasiness that exists between them. Perhaps it is the metaphysical manifestation of their guilt or the guilt they feel over feeling very little guilt. Whatever it is, he knows sometimes they both feel it. 

But it seems that Jon has read Sansa all wrong when she gives a pillow muffled response, “Ugh, I hate so much that I know you’re funny now too! All those times over the years it never occurred to me you even knew how to smile let alone make a joke or a pun….” 

Which in turn causes Jon to chuckle before saying “I’m really not that funny.” 

“No! You’re REALLY not but I still think you are and that’s the problem!” 

“Why is that a problem?” he asks even though he already knows the answer. Or at least he hoped he knew the answer. 

In his mind he hopes this means that Sansa is beginning to see this thing they’ve been doing as more than just a revenge lay engineered to get back at his brother. In his mind, he hopes that he’s become more to her than that.

Well maybe it’s not just in his mind where he hopes for all that. Maybe it’s another part of him too. 

When she doesn’t give an answer he’s left to wonder again if his assumptions were right or terribly wrong. One thing he’s learned about Sansa during these couple months is that when she doesn’t want to reveal too much of what she might be feeling she stays quiet. 

She plays it all very close to the vest, this enigma of a woman who has ensnared him completely; and sometimes he thinks she doesn’t know how to be any other way. She’s spent so long trying to be the perfect version of herself, trying so hard to please and please and please and ultimately ended up pleasing everyone except herself.

It’s something Jon can relate to. It’s something he didn’t even know they had in common until he had really gotten to know her as Sansa the person and not just as Egg’s pretty, perfect Lady wife from the North. 

Well Jon doesn’t intend to be yet another person in Sansa’s life that she has to pretend for. He never wants her to feel the need to hide with him. 

“We can…stop this if…you want.” Jon said regretting the words as soon as they left his mouth.  
He didn’t want to stop. But he figured giving her the option was the right thing to do. Letting her know that he’d be okay with her ending things between them. 

That he’d be okay with things going back to how they were. That he’d be fine with going back to being naught more than her brother-in-law that she only ever saw during the holidays and at official events his father made him attend. 

But Sansa’s eyes are fever bright when she finally lifts her head to look at him; pale blue eyes boring into grey and her voice cracks just a bit when she replies, “Being with you is the only thing that makes sense to me right now.” 

It wasn’t a declaration of love but it was something. Something real and tangible. Something that Jon was going to hold onto long after she inevitably comes to her senses and puts an end to this. 

Whatever this is. 

Sleeping with his brother’s wife was never apart of Jon’s plan and falling in love with her sure as hell wasn’t either. But as he gathers Sansa into his arms he thinks again about his father and his brother and faces the reality that he can no longer pride himself on being any different from them anymore.  


Because in addition to always wanting what was not theirs to have, Targaryen men have always been terrible at making plans.


End file.
